Dick's Ditties

Bragging Rights of Passage

Im Commodore Nick of the Pattie B
And every Sunday I go to sea
And I calculate the winners on my old PC
While Wendy serves the biscuits at afternoon tea.

Im Lori Hobart of the Flying Scot
Whose shape is lovely and whose lines are hot
Im gonna be a winner, but so far Im not.
Im Lori Hobart of the Flying Scot

Im Harris Whitehead with boats galore
If my yard was bigger, I would buy some more
But with kids in college I am much too poor.
Im Harris Whitehead with boats galore

Im lawyer Kelly with a Rhodes 19.
She once on her mooring but now cannot be seen
We got the call this morning about 6:15
That shed drifted in the narrows
And was on her beam..

Im Charlie Whitehead and Im cheap as sin.
Id put a sail on a barrel if I thought Id win
My Lightning craft is a bit antique.
In fact I fear shes past her peak..

Were the Maslins with a thousand names,
But when you see us we all look the same
Were often winners on the bounding Main.
Were the Maslins with a thousand names.

I am Joy Johnson and I watch each race
I used to be a "hotty" with a Maslin face
Now I am mature with style and grace
I am Joy Johnson and I watch each race.

Im Mary Hobart and I own the dock
Where the race is started and we keep the clock
Id like to build a lighthouse if I could get the OK
So there are no more collisions out on the bay.

Im large Jim Loney with a boat named Tarka
And when its cold I wear my parka.
From the Sunday races I stay away
Cause I couldnt bear to lose on any day.

Im the ghost of Katherine Berry and I had a red canoe.
Id paddle in the Basin for a stroke or two.
But soon I got so tired that I could not last
And Macyd help me up along my hillside path

Im Macy Whitehead and I learned to sail
On an ancient dory in a pounding gale.
And every time that I go out to sea
I hope its not the last for me.

Im Richard Kelly and Ive sailed since youth,
But my back is lousy and Im long in the tooth.
So I bought a motorboat that suits me just so fine,
And I leave the sailing to you friends of mine.

Look at me, Im a guy named Kye
I sail small boats and I make them fly.
When I have a big boat, I will pass you by.
Look at me, I m a guy named Kye

Im Christopher Schwabe of the Humble Pie.
Shes lightening fast and I pass you by.
Now its off to Africa I must fly.
But Ill be back--- so prepare to cry.

And then there are others who sometimes race
But they find it hard to keep up the pace.
And sometimes surprise us and they win first place
So you better be ready to save some face.

Elaine and Dick August 16, 2007

The Seagoing Jeans

1.About a hundred years ago,
Or was it yesterday,
A maiden and her brother small
Went sailing on the bay.


If you do go sailing upon the rolling seas,
Be sure that you are wearing a pair of BVDs

2,The wind it blew with double force
And they capsized you bet
The water came into the boat
And both of them got wet.


3, The brother small was soon on board
A passing lobster smack
While she remained to save the gear
And tie down what was slack.

4.This poor and foolish maiden
Took off from round her waist
Her soggy, heavy dungarees
Too wet to suit her taste


5.From shore set off three heroes brave
To save the damsel fair:
Her Uncle Bob and Cousin Jim
And Wilbur Bull were there

6.Uncle Bob and Cousin Jim
Were relatives you know
While Wilbur Bull, that handsome lad
Was currently her beau.


7. Too late the foolish maiden.
She made a frantic search.
Her soggy jeans had floated off
And left her in the lurch

8. It seems that she had tied them
Onto a wooden beam
But they had got the wanderlust
To be sea going jeans


9. So all that she was wearing
When rescued by those three
Was just the briefest touch of pink
As all could plainly see.

10. An epilog Ill sing for you
I wrote the other day
And tell you how it all went down
And life came out their way

11. Cousin Jim became a Doc
Which always was his aim
Hed fix your runny noses
And sores that did inflame

12. Wilbur Bull became a coach
In Burlington. Vermont.
His students there all learned to ski
And other stuff he taught

13. Uncle Bob was Macys dad,
The eldest of the three,
He died too many years ago
In nineteen fifty three

14. Wilbur and that maiden fair
Each chose a different spouse
Both had happy lives with them
And each a loving house

15. And though the years have swiftly past
And memories have eased
Remember when your sailing
To wear your BVDS.

Dick Kelly, written about 1960, to commemorate an event in 1946, revised August 16, 2007