RACE REPORTS 1999

July 18th 1999 Congratulations were pouring in last night from as far afield as California and England as news spread about the debut victory for Jamie Eckers new Lightning 2. The victors were cock-a-hoop at their cruise to the line and promised greater things as soon as they found out how to attach the sails. The race was held in freshening wind and finally stopped early because of fears of lightning. But Lightning had already struck and the small but high class field was left reeling by the blow. Eric "where did I leave my anchor" Maslen and the 2 skipper crew of Harris "There's no such thing as a dry ship" Whitehead and Rink "I need more spaghetti for my cap" Dupont failed to make an impression even with their ploy of using the lightweight but experienced crew of Celia and Kye Whitehead. Eric could not be found after the race but was rumoured to be trying to get a refund on a set of new sails and checking the bottom of the Flying Scot to see if there was anything stuck to the bottom. Other local crews missed out on an easy chance to pick up points for the Brightwater & Wynburg Trophy and may rue their mistake at the end of the season.

Lightning Strikes Twice! July 25th 1999 The second race in the Brightwater and Wynburg regatta series saw a day with very different conditions to the first race and everyone was on edge to see how they'd fare in the light winds and patchy fog. Some were so on edge that they actually were late starting as mother nature made them an offer they couldn't refuse. Glad everything worked out in the end Charlie. A good start was made by most boats but some were confused by the lobster pots with blue flags on them which bore an uncanny resemblance to the start flag. First across the start line was the Flying Scot of Eric "Crooked rudder" Maslen, with his crew of Chris "That tooth was coming out anyway" and Mary "Just let me know when we're going about" Hobart, who was trying out a deviated tiller in the hope that it would make the Scot point higher. Better luck next time Eric, although a strong finish saw him snapping at the heels of Charlie "Did the race start already?" Whitehead and his crew Carol.
Confounding the all the crews and handing a lucky break to the eventual winners were the elements, which stopped some of the boats dead in their tracks and slowed all.
The race committee of Eleanor "If you can't make the line we'll move it to you" and Rollie "Second guess" Johnson were finally forced to shorten the race to one lap which even then was too much for some boats. As some crews snuck off the course the, on the ball, committee sent out the clean up boat with Lori "If I can handle my kids I can handle you" Kidger to force crews to finish. Lori took Wendy "It looks like we're keeping the trophy" Price and Allysa "I'm driving so I'll go as fast as I like" Kidger and just in case there were any arguments Geoffrey and Gregory "He hit me first" were also on hand to lend muscle. It was hardly surprising that no one dared and all remaining crews towed the line.
Bill "Which of these flags" & Barbara "One hand for the boat" Bull left before finishing muttering something about Bills whiskers. Shave early next time Bill!
For the Indian it was shades of the past has they sped backwards towards the narrows, drawn perhaps to the shell heaps at the mouth of the Basin. Macy "Say a little prayer for me" Whitehead had used up his share of blessings for the day and retired rather than risk another river crossing.
Rink "Ragged stays" Dupont and his crew Gus "One wench is much like another" Manumytus" were seen bottle in hand in the search for courage and it must have worked as they foxed the handicappers and stole a valuable 6 points from Charlie. Rink was heard to say that he felt he could have won if his sail hadn't been torn.
Debbie " Why is everyone in such a hurry" Leighton was not to be undone in unfavourable conditions and bravely completed a course too tough for some of the entrants. Your time will come Debbie.
Lightning does strike twice though and if we needed proof it was in evidence today with the sultry conditions being turned to their favour by the slick work of the Price "No he's not my brother" Cousins, Jim "A big church" & Nick "Was I smiling again?" Price. With a strong start from the first two races there are mutterings about the handicapping supremo who is apparently closely linked to someone in the winning boat. This is a slanderous and ill judged rumour and not to be countenanced by anyone valuing their health. If it can happen to Barbara Bull it can happen to you.

Handicapping Shock for top sailors!  1^st August 1999. The Brightwater and Wynburg communities were reeling today as news emerged of a millennium software bug that had officials scurrying for the rule books. Technicians were working late into the night to try and restore a semblance of order to the regatta series after it emerged that the first three race results had been incorrectly calculated and the race for the championship was wide open again. Apparently results had been calculated by results of their performances in 1899 when only a few of the crews were alive. No names, no pack drill.
In the third race of the series a bleak morning brightened into a glorious afternoon with a moderate breeze to be found by most of the crews. Yet again however disaster struck two boats before they could even make the line with the new top secret jib on the Typhoon, Tern, threatening to reduce the rest of the rigging to tatters. Debbie "Let me at em" Leighton and her crew Geoff "Lets see that on replay" Leighton were unable to restore the rig and limped into the basin where they were seen trying to find moorings to harbour the stricken vessel. Bystanders were left wondering how they got to shore after leaving two boats tied to the mooring of Griff "That's my boat" Stabler. The Bulls "Whose holding the canoe?" in Seabird finished up on the rocks before they could clear their cove and although they managed to get Seabird afloat later in the day another chance had gone begging.
As the horn went for the start of the race Lightning 2 started as they meant to go on being first over the line ahead of the Flying Scot, Typhoon and Indian. By the first mark off Sheep Island Lightning 2, ably crewed today by Griff "Where's my cap" Stabler and Jim "Did I do something wrong?" Price had sailed their Skipper Nick "Don't let me Wake up." Price into a lead they were to hold all day. Rounding second was the Indian, Sacagawea of Macy "One of Gods critters" Whitehead and Dick "Am I a cowboy or a lesbian?" Kelly. A promising start was let slip when the Flying Scot of Eric "If wishes were Lightnings" Maslen and his crew Lori "This is one way to get away from the kids" Kidger found a stowaway on board in the form of master sailboat technician Chris "I'll have another biscuit" Kidger, powered past on the downwind leg and were never caught again. Last around the weather mark today were the old salts Rink "Which boat am I in today" Dupont and Gus "I've always found boats sail better without the trailer" Manumytus who were looking for a gale that never blew.
Three overall wins were not enough to hold on to a championship lead when the handicapping errors were discovered and there were rumours that money was changing hands to try and restore their lead. A disappointment of the series so far has been the low turnouts and lack of boats in the higher handicap ranges. There are points going begging for some enterprising crews if they'll only grasp the nettle! Much has been promised but little delivered and we'll have to wait for the next race to see if there's any bite behind the bark!

Chris's Dream 8^th August 1999. Under a blue sky with balmy warm breezes the 4^th 1999 race was held in the New Meadows River today. There was a record turnout of boats with crews ranging from the semi-professionals from Sheep Island to the habitual old salts of Brightwater and Wynburg, well experienced in the nuances of local wind and current conditions.
These waters are renowned on the North East Coast as being some of the most trying and demanding in the whole of the New Meadows.
Tension was high before the start about the new handicapping system with a staggered start designed to bring all the boats to the finish together and the timekeepers, Eleanor and Rollie "Every second counts" Johnson were busy checking and rechecking their watches as the start time of 2.00 PM. approached.
There was much jockeying for good start positions with everyone aware how vital it was to get off to a fast start in clear air with so many top notch crews in the field. Several protests were made but none upheld in a Raleigh eat Bonnie situation and it was a case of looking after number 1.
The favoured crews all started strongly with a beat upwind to Sheep Island Buoy against the fierce currents and at first it seemed as though experience would tell again. Onlookers were amazed however when the prototype Wynwater 1 sailed by Chris "Moose" Schwabe decimated the field sailing past Lightning's, J22's, Olympic Stars and the like. Try as they might none of the other boats could point as high or sail as fast downwind while on the beats Chris had the little boat planing as often as not. Designer Dick "I'm a cowboy" Kelly would not be drawn on the legality of the turbo dagger board but insiders say he has been in talks with the Royal New Meadows Yacht club about their entry into the year 2000 America's Cup race.
"Chris, CHRIS, CHRIS, WAKE UP!!!!

Stormy Weather 15^th August 1999:- As gales lashed the shores of the New Meadows River on race day many crews decided that safety was the best policy and stayed home. Wynburg sailors were unfortunately detained, rumour has it, by their obligations to their new quilting circle and couldn't come out to race.
A small high quality field did start however led by the winner of last weeks race dream Chris "Moose" Schwabe. His crew consisted of tactician Anya "Can't wait for Friday" and sail trimmer Lael "Has it only been 17 years?" Schwabe. "Moose" got off to a flying start with the little used Cundy's lobster pot manoeuvre and was well clear of the rest of the fleet at the first Sheep Island mark. He was being chased hard by Charlie "Salty Dog" Whitehead who sniffed his first chance of victory this year in the adverse conditions. Charlie tried his well-tested trick of lulling the opposition into a false sense of security by seeming not to be in the race until it had already started. This time his tactician Carol "You didn't tell me these boats had seats" Pinkham got him onto the water before his start time but the old dog had a new flea trick up his collar and started 3 minutes late anyway. Last to start was Lightning 2 owned by absentee philanthropist Jamie "Will o the Wisp" Secker and crewed by the foreign professionals of helmsman Nick "Money talks" Price and the sail trimmer he had to marry to get her in the bed boat Wendy "I'd rather be down a well!" Price. In a bid to give themselves the best chance they employed the services of local expert Chris "30 biscuits a day week" Kidger and their ploy almost worked as they relentlessly closed down "Salty Dog". A couple of cock-ups unlucky breaks by "Moose" after they rounded the first mark gave the chasing Lightnings some hope of closing the gap and just before the second mark they filed past the "Rockettes" in the little Wynwater and set off on the beat to Rich Mans Buoy. Fighting hard to hold down his boat in the gusty conditions the old seadog just managed to hang onto his lead as they crossed the line for their first win of the year keeping the chasing pack at bay until victory was in his bowl. Good boy! The time keepers Eleanor and Rollie "Why spoil a good lunch" Johnson were baffled by the sudden turn of speed that "Moose" and his crew were able to demonstrate to cross the line when, for a time, they were easily able to keep up with the Lightning of "Salty Dog". If they had shown the same speed earlier in the race there is no doubt they would have come second.
With points being dropped as well as gained Lightning 2 was only able to add one to their bag but it was enough to move them equal first with the non-starting Scot of Eric "Pass me the pink cotton" Maslen. With two races still to go in the series there are still 7 boats with a theoretical chance of winning the coveted trophy.
NB! Two more races to go on August 22^nd and 29th
Fashion correspondent to the Sailing News says. "Nice outfit Eleanor"!

22^nd August 1999. Grey skies and pouring rain greeted the crews planning to turn out for the 5^th race of the series. Wynburg sailors were keen to lay their poor showing of the previous week to rest and were out in force with three top notch boats and crews. Brightwater also had a strong field out with a few black sheep among them. Before the race started the rain stopped and so did the wind leaving boats paddling from all parts of the river just to make the start line. The handicapped start saw the Wynwater of "Moose" and Nina "Could he do it without me" Schwabe following Shelby "Does the wind EVER blow?" and Geoff "Gloria" Leighton lead the pack away up to Sheep Island buoy which seemed a long way away! As the other hopeful mariners drifted off in pursuit they were followed over the line by the scratch Lightning of Jamie "One shoe" Ecker who was desperately trying to find his second lucky shoe in the bilges of Lightning 2 before the start. Little did he and his crew The " I'll sleep while you sail" Prices know at that stage that it was to be a chastening experience for them all. Making a strong move on the opening leg was Charlie "Got my motor running" Whitehead. (How about that for a song next year Charlie?) and his lightweight all women crew, "The sirens". Rumour has it that Charlie is opening a dress shop next year after his success with sailmaking. He has in mind a ball gown that will double as a spinnaker and thinks it could be a big seller. A number of boats rounded Sheep Island buoy in close proximity but your reporter was too far from the sharp end to see their exact order. Debbie "Light my fire" Leighton was grabbed by her propeller, (propeller Debbie?) and given a twirl. No names were mentioned but your fearless hack is pointing the finger squarely at Rink "sheepish grin" Dupont in his clapboard dingy, "Somesuch". A pattern began to emerge when a few boats lost the plot rounding the buoy and it was a scenario that was to repeat itself throughout the long sultry afternoon. Those rounding the mark early were able to lay a course for the Hojo line but the Narrows force field was again in evidence. This time locking the trio of Link Rink and the Professional crew, "Das Flintermice" sailing Sage as well as the Flying Scot of Eric "I never paid more than 100 bucks for a boat" Maslen and his crew Chris "mighty atom" Kidger. Eventually the Dutch crew "we're only on holiday for 10 days and can't spend all of it sailing" broke the deadlock by dropping sails and motoring in. Rumour had it that they were only paid for an hour and when their time was up, they left! Removal of their large sails left a bit more wind for the others however and slowly things began to move. Moose "read and learn" Schwabe confounded the boffins in Lightning 2 by sailing right around them and chasing the leaders Charlie and Debbie up to Rich Man's Buoy. As they rounded the buoy Charlie made his big mistake of the day when he wrested the tiller from Carol "Maybe next year we'll get seats" Pinkham and banished his mother to the foredeck. Charlie sailed up behind Sheep Island looking for wind (there was never any wind there Charlie) and Eric "bottom line" Maslen spotted his chance. Recognising his own limitations as a helmsman he passed the tiller to Chris "this is going to cost you a packet (of cookies)" Kidger and they made their late break for the line. It was a startling and bold manouver and paid off handsomely with a win on the day. Equally brilliant sailing by Debbie and her Valkyries snatched second place from the languishing Lightning of "Silky Salty Dog" Whitehead who only just managed to avoid being beaten to third place on the line by the Wynwater of Moose "You'll never hear the end of it" Schwabe in a last desperate lunge. The Schwabes were certainly the pick of the day however and this young sailor will certainly be in the next Olympic team if they decide to race Wynwaters. Macy "one shower a year is enough for any man" Whitehead and Shelby in the Wherever Whatever were locked in a chop and change duel for the wooden spoon which was lost by Shelby who had a crew that was far too large for the conditions. Good try though. Take your mom next time, Shelby!
Special thanks for the usual flawless performance of the timekeepers Eleanor and Rollie "We can time a second hour to the nearest hour second" Johnson. They made a day of it.

The Big Blow 29^th August 1999. A beautiful sunny day with just a touch of wind was on the menu for the intrepid mariners of Brightwater and Wynburg as they hurtled back and forth across the New Meadows during the countdown for the seasons final race. Reputations were at stake & crews hoped to confirm, dispel or create them depending on their showings of the past weeks. A strong field came to the line and were led away by the Flying Scot of Eric "Cracked leaky bottom" Maslen, the only boat with a reefed mainsail. Smart choice as it turned out! Bob "Boom BOOM" and his crew Alwyn "Board silly" Wilbur in Lady Ship followed with nearly all yachts getting over the line in the first minute. Certainly a record! There was one exception, no prizes for guessing who! The only dramas on the first leg were when Moose Schwabe tried to cut down drag by sailing without the rudder. A few minutes like this convinced him it was a theory that wasn’t going to work! Some questionable manoeuvring tactics by Moose also had him on the horns of a dilemma when he locked antlers with the huge crew in Sage. Among their number were Captain Pink Rink "Why do people sail so close to me" Dupont, tactician Callie "Give me the mike" Dupont and the out of town hustlers Jim & Leslie "Come on baby light my cabin fire" Loney. Moose was about to be boarded and put to the plank when a gust of wind (Did anybody hear what he said?) carried him clear.After an indifferent start, Lightning 2 picked up a few places & had some more lined up when the mutiny began. Tremayne "Where’s the galley" Jones Price discovered that no victuals had been brought on board, & demanded to be put ashore at once. This was accomplished with some difficulty at the Hojo dock in high winds and the remaining crew set off to try and pick up the lost places. The Flying Scot was living up to its name & was positively airborne! The nature of the race meant that they were to be victims of their own performance & when they rounded the mark at the end of the first lap the other boats were strung out in their wake. As the lap neared completion some dodgy tactics were in evidence & some crews left the true course to enhance their return leg. We know who you are & you will suffer in years to come! Lady Ship had retired hurt with split ends. As if there wasn’t enough water about the crew of the Tern had connected their bailer to a water gun and was directing it at passing boats. Three generations of Leightons combined their skills and guile and snatched victory by 24 seconds from the Wynwater of young Moose and his "Sylkies". Geoff, Debbie and Shelby "The spirits are with us" Leighton came from nowhere in the hunt for the trophy and snatched second place in the last race of the season with their strongest performance of the year. The Indian never made it to the start when their rigging was found to be adrift and running repairs were also carried out to the forestay of the Wynwater just before the off. Charlie "Summer time" Whitehead and his regular squeeze crew Carol "I like it!" Pinkham again fell into a hole at Rich Man’s buoy an area that is becoming a bit of a nemesis for them. The Price "Drama? I wanna tell you!" boys also had a hiccup as they rounded Rich Man’s in the wrong direction and they had to go back and do it again. As they rounded the start mark on their way back, Lightning 2 nearly lightened their crew further when they gibed & the boom caught Jim "For my next trick" Price flipping him into the New Meadows where a passing wave threw him back. Most of the next leg was spent trying to lower the centreboard, which had jammed with a piece of shock cord in the pulley linkage. Things settled down, apart from the weather, and at the post race debriefing it was decided that although fun this format gave too much opportunity for gain by sandbaggers or those who had genuine problems on the first leg. Eric Maslen was a worthy winner of the first Brightwater & Wynburg Sailing Trophy but he will have his work cut out next year if he is to retain the tankard. Your handicapping committee will spend the winter trying to come up with a system that will astound and baffle you all. This should work on the premise that if you don’t know what’s going on you can’t take advantage or complain. New boats are expected on the water next year & I would urge you all not to push up prices artificially as you bid against each other for the Lightnings in Uncle Henry’s. Have a good winter and remember that winning begins (and ends!) in the mind.

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